To be attacked means to have our survival threatened. Thus, we might chose between surrender, withdrawal, or counterattack. When we feel attacked (criticized or judged) by others in conversation, we often move into that same kind of survival mentality and automatically defend ourselves. When we defend against criticism, we give more power to the criticism and the person dishing it out than is warranted.

While we might need to set some limits if someone is verbally abusive, I think we often ward off criticism far too soon, discarding anything that is valid, as well as what is invalid. The person's words may hurt, but they will hurt less, I think, if we ask questions, decide which pieces we agree with (if any) and which ones we don't agree with. We can just think about it, we don't have to fight it as if we were being attacked with a lethal weapon. I watch people's self-esteem increase simply from becoming less defensive in the face of criticism and judgement. Besides, we may find a priceless gem in with some junk.
You always want to leave a good impression behind you. But we have to put somethings into play ; Ask Questions; Active listening; Give your side; Accept; Reject; Ignore.

Even if you believe the criticism is inaccurate or unfair, delay reacting defensively. State that you're confused by the criticism (if this is true) and that you'd like to understand it better.
Then ask questions regarding the specifics of the criticism. Try to honestly understand what your critic is talking about.

For most of us, responding to criticism without defending our selves has meant being "defenseless," caving in, losing face, feeling bad about ourselves. On the other hand, responding defensively has meant being harsh, closed, shutting others out. This is a no-win choice. We look bad and undermine our own self esteem either way. If we can learn to respond to criticism with true non-defensive openness and clarity, asking questions, stating our position, and setting limits when needed, we can build our own wisdom and garner the respect of both the children and adults in our lives

Innocence can be referred to as a state of unknowing, where one's experience is lesser, in either a relative view to social peers, or by an absolute comparison to more common normative scale. Sometimes we hold ourselves in high esteem, the morale of our dignity is well magnified, that we are afraid of a tainted image.
We tend to analyze our values and self-dignity in comparison to what could defile the morale and quality of well-being we have set aside. We seem not to have control on some emotions that comes along at some point, not because we are empowered, nor overwhelmed by the state we are subjected to, but we seem to be weak in the spirit. The self-controlling energy that seems to go by the values and norms we have set aside seems to be weakened by the emotions. In addition, this seems to happen by the state of the mind not being on the same par with our body, some external burden, which seems to be greater than what we can bear at that moment seems to be working in place. Together we tend to go down the trail of disappointment, which subsequent result after we get together with the state of our well-being; we realized we have lost our innocence.
Infatuation and Lust plays a major role in the defilement of our sexual well-being. I tend to hold myself in high-esteem, no sexual intercourse with a complete stranger, on internet hook-ups. Being a reclusive state and not really interacting with people, tend to work with boredom and loneliness, which wont probably have a good effect on a sexually active young male. When the mind is tramped with such feelings and you just want to relieve yourself of the sexual tension (when celibacy is not in place), the next available option will sure be taken on, the experience might worth it, and it might not, but when you reconcile with your body and spirit, you tend to realize the self-esteem is being diminished.
My normal reaction is to start treading on the path of regret, only if its that bad and I couldn’t just take the thought of disappointment away from when I remember what happened, worse scenario when I cant believe that can happen to me in any situation. The subsequent feelings will probably take its toll on me. Getting the realization that some things have to happen, there has to be an adventure for a hale and hearty young man, but we want to relate with something we are proud of, but something we are probably ashamed of will sure show up. Trying to learn from the mistake seems to be the next option for me and I will probably try to check what’s to do and make sure I dont fall down that pit anymore, because it wont build up the dignity, with time it might but the experience will surely haunt you only if you let it.
Its my past I have to let go. Its easier to let go provided the circumstance fits well with your persona but what happened seems to just be right on your classification of defilement. Most times you really cant help the feelings, cant just help what happened, forget the past because you cant change it. That’s you, that’s what makes you unique, hopefully the situation wont just haunt you still..

Well, we cant change our past, we just need to reconcile with ourselves and make sure falling into that same ditch doesnt seem possible anymore. Dont let out all secret about you to your prospective partner. Live life as is, and have fun!!!

Deadly strain bird flu in Africa(Nigeria)

The dreaded H5N1 bird flu that had been anticipated on not getting into African countries have been found in Northern Nigerian state of Kaduna, neighbouring state Kano have reported death of several birds. It amazes me on how Nigerian authorities put their negligent attitude to place in every important and sensitive issues that pertains to the citizens and could better their lives. Due to lack of proper technological resources needed in the laboratories to confirm what disease it was, the Nigerian government were confident to declare it as NewCastle disease, a common disease with poultries.
The World Health Organisation (OIE) reported that "Although all evidence to date indicates that the virus does not spread easily from birds to humans, careful monitoring of the situation is warranted".
A great decline will happen to the Nigerian growing poultry industry. My family happened to be unfortunate in this situation. But if fast action could be embarked on by the Nigerian Health authorities to check the spread of this menace, some Nigerians could be saved a great bunch of money.

Unfortunately in a country like Nigeria, money earmarked for such event will be "allocated" to some off-shore accounts of selfish greedy politicians that rules the country. But this tragedy is not far from home of the Nigerian president himself, since he happens to boast at one point, being the biggest poultry farmer in Nigeria. We expect swift reactions to the problem before it escalates into spreading into humans.
Some 46,000 birds have been reported dead from the H5N1 virus. In Nigeria, as in other parts of Africa, most village households maintain free-ranging flocks of poultry as a source of income and food.

Hopefully the government of Nigeria will checkmate the situation before it grows out of hand and it starts affecting the poor citizens, most especially people from the Northern part of the country.

Nairaland!!!!

Appreciating the brain behind this wonderful project for a young Nigerian man, could only be acknowledged by taking a visit to the site. Been on the internet for like forever and been to few Nigerian-oriented sites, even though, every site seems to be good in their own way, but Seun Osewa(webmaster) could only be praised for the brain behind the wonderful job and seems to me like he's the only one handling it. Been in Nigeria shouldnt be a barrier in making your impact known, he proved it with great gusto.

To my amazement when writing this blog, I was just browsing through the "Wikipedia" online encyclopedia, the almighty NAIRALAND's 1000 Naira thread, is the link to the encyclopedia's external source for its information. Even though the site seems to have the Nigerian currency (naira) as the name of the domain, I wasnt so surprised to see that the site is not so Nigerian. The reason is well-known to the webmaster, but some Nigerian flava is needed in this great Nigerian online forum. Some Nigerian traits like dissing, redirecting from the topic of the thread in its entirety and lack of respect in the name of freedom of speech that is well associated with Nigerians couldnt be found wanting on there.

The profusion of intellectually challenging conversations cant stop you from going back to read replies, even when you dont have the interest of contributing, it will worth your while to take a shot at replies of Nferyn, Ijebuman, Dejiolowe, Seun (just to mention a few). Their sense of reasoning could only be paralled with the quality of threads they dare to give their input on. While some threads are pretty interesting and gives you the urge to take part, some are just plain annoying, you cant help but ignore the thread.

But what keeps you coming to the site? Varieties of topics to talk about, ranging from Entertainments, Technology, Fashion, Sports, Relationships, wont sure be bore you when reading. Having the young* generation at its beck makes the site very interesting to visit and just lay back and read. Post from "hot-angel", "nike4luv", "WesleyanA", sure has an impact on lots of the members, their post making 30% of the whole forum sure has some say on their impact on the site.

The site is a pretty great place so far, and there's always room for advancement, take a trip down there sometimes when you have some time to while away. It will worth your while. I bet yah!!
Hmm...strictly good command of the ENGLISH language is allowed by the administrator, so non-Nigerian is sure at home and Nigerians, pidgin is not allowed!!!




PS: The writer's views doesnot in anyway have the consent of the administrator, individuals mentioned are just admired by the writer!!